Back to the Firefly
by Blackadder VII
Summary: Dave Lister last human in existence accidentally spills Vindaloo sauce in the wrong place causing him to fall through time and materializes on a Firefly class ship called the Serenity. Please review
1. Chapter 1

**Back to the Firefly 01**

**Crossover between Red Dwarf and Firefly**

**Red Dwarf Series 6 between episode Rimmerworld and Out of Time**

**Firefly between episodes Trash and The Messages**

**Summary: Dave Lister last human in existence accidentally spills Vindaloo sauce in the wrong place causing him to fall through time and materialized on a Firefly class ship the Serenity. Please review**

Chapter 01 Celebrations

Three million years out in deep space a little green transport ship vessel known as Starbug was on the trail of the Jupiter Mining Corporation cruiser, the Red Dwarf. The crew of the Starbug were made up of oddest assortment of individuals ever to grace deep space. The crew included the last human, a being that evolved from cats, a narcissist hologramatic life form and a Series 4000 mechanoid who had a head in the shape of an inflated condom.

The atmosphere inside the ship was one of celebration. The human, Dave Lister had escaped from a particular nasty peril involving a sharp knife and a Genetically Engineered LifeForm (GELF) with the intent of making sure the human race were all female.

So the crew was all celebrating with Lister's favourite dish, Beef Vindaloo. Kryten the mechanoid was serving out hot steaming dishes of Indian food to the Cat, Rimmer and Lister on Starbug's main table.

"Thank god I need this like a miner's needs his annual visit to a brothel" said Lister digging in to the curry

"Yeah and the last thing Starbug's toilets needs is having what remains of your curry clogging up the u-bend" commented Arnold Rimmer.

"Kry-ten lo-ves it".

Lister's reply was half obscured because of a mouthful of Vindaloo and as a result of speaking, Lister sprayed most of the contains of his mouth over all over the green table. In Lister's eagerness to stuff his face, he had forgotten to swallow.

Rimmer flared his Grand Canyon nostrils in disgust and flicked some half chewed Vindaloo off his side of the table.

"Of course Captain Bog Bot love's it. Kryten loves cleaning just as much as likes giving out pointless scientific facts" Rimmer responded.

The Cat looked up from his meal in disgust

"Yo gerbil face didn't your mother tell you not to speak with your mouth full. Sometimes you're really disgusting" growled the Cat.

"Me Mum may have mentioned once or twice but I think she was more concerned about my blowing my nose on the table cloth" retorted Lister, spraying more food over the table.

"Mr Lister watch what you're doing sir. I doubt the Teleporter can survive another wave of half chewed Vindaloo" Kryten warned.

He pointed to the chunky keyboard device that he'd left on a crate to the left of the main table.

Lister curiously picked up the Teleporter; a device the Crew had acquired it from the bowels of a wrecked Rogue Simulant ship. They had been lucky to escape with their lives and it hadn't been because of a crazed half alive Simulant. It was because Rimmer on seeing the Simulant had done a bunk in an escape pod causing the wrecked ships superstructure to collapse on top of Lister's, Cat's and Kryten's heads.

Arnold Judas Rimmer has a yellow streak longer than the Greenwich Meridian.

"Looks like you've made some modifications on it" Lister asked Kryten.

"Yes I thought I might be able to increase the polarity on it enough to teleport us to the Red Dwarf. But the devices transmitter is too small to teleport objects or people more than a few light years" Kryten explained.

Lister brushed a gob of Vindaloo sauce but ended up spread it across the control panel causing it to light up all of a sudden.

"Quickly drop it Mr Lister. The Vindaloo sauce has seeped into the transmission circuit it's going to teleport" warned Kryten.

But Lister was too slow, the Teleporter engaged and David Lister last human in the universe disappeared in a flash of orange light.

The Teleporter fell to the floor where Lister had been sitting a couple of seconds ago. The device was steaming and shot out blue sparks.

XXXXXX

Meanwhile three million years back in time, a Firefly class spaceship known as the Serenity sailed through space, like a silent leviathan. Like the Starbug, the crew of the Serenity were celebrating a great occasion.

But instead of escaping a GELF keen to turn them into eunuchs, they had just pulled off the biggest heist of their criminal careers. They had managed to steal the original handheld Lasiter one of only two known model of laser to still exist and it was as priceless as the Mona Lisa.

This crew was somewhat larger than the crew of the Red Dwarf and definitely less strange, just a group of people trying to make a living in a galaxy ruled by a ruthless tyrannical government. They were all celebrating in their kitchen/living area of the Serenity, feasting on protein bars and reminiscing on the events that had transpired.

So they were utterly shocked when a bright orange light invaded there party. The light faded revealing a man of African descent with short hair at the front with several lengthy dreadlocks at the back. He was wearing a frayed leather jacket which was covered in patches and badges.

Underneath he wore a boiler suit which had a mixture of grease and curry occupying most of its surface. Overall he looked rather like a space bum. On the first few seconds of arrival the man had only two things to say before he went white and fainted.

"Oh Smeg"!

***This chapter was edited on the 20/12/12**


	2. Chapter 2

**Back to the Firefly Chapter 02**

Chapter 02 Made on Earth

Rimmer, Kryten and the Cat stared at the place Lister had been sitting, all of them stunned. Kryten was the first to react, his synthetic mind working faster than the others as he picked up the smoking Teleporter.

"What happened to Monkey boy? One minute he was here and the next he's gone like Norwegian ponchos" said the Cat

"It would seem that Mr Lister accidentally activated the Teleporter when he tried to rub off the gob of Vindaloo. The Vindaloo sauce scrambled the circuits rather like a hippie's brain on the third day of an open air festival. So instead of teleporting Mr Lister to a different section of space, the Teleporter took him to a different section in time. The power needed to send Mr Lister through time was too much for the Teleporter so it gave him a one way trip, hence the Teleporter staying in this sector of time" theorized Kryten.

"Sorry if I sound thicker than the offspring of a village idiot and a TV weather girl but doesn't that mean that Listy's dead. I doubt there were spaceships occupying the same space a hundred odd years ago" commented Rimmer.

Rimmer had of a bit of a worried look on him. Although he hated Lister's guts, Rimmer preferred to spend time with him than spending the rest of eternity with the creature with the brain the size of a squashed apricot and Commander U-bend. After spending 557 years stuck alone in a dungeon Rimmer now knew the value of good company.

"No Mr Rimmer. The Teleporter wouldn't have engaged if the Safety Sensors hadn't picked up a safe sector of time to place Mr Lister. According to the Teleporter, Mr Lister has been teleported to the Earth date 2517 C.E".

"Who in the name of Io would be flying through deep space 2 999 862 years ago, I didn't know the 25th century still had Jehovah's Witnesses" Rimmer smirked.

"Come on guys; let's follow Lister in Starbug "said The Cat

"A good suggestion sir with just two very minor flaws. One, Starbug can't time travel and two, Starbug can't time travel. I realize that technically speaking its only one flaw, but I thought it such a big one it was worth mentioning twice" explained Kryten.

XXXXX

Dr Simon Tam brilliant surgeon, now wanted fugitive; placed the listening end of his stethoscope on the stranger's chest listening to the strangers placid heartbeat.

"He seems to be all shiny, just unconscious. Whatever happened to him caused a great strain on his body" Simon commented to the crowd of people behind him.

The Captain of Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds stepped forward to gain the attention of the rest of the crew.

"Yeah I have been wondering about that. Does anyone know what gorram happened? It's not often that folks appear out of thin air on my ship" asked Mal?

"Maybe the Alliance has developed some type of matter teleportation device and this man was testing it out. There have been rumours, that Alliance has been developing such technologies for years. Maybe they have succeeded" theorized Inara.

Inara Serra wasn't part of the Serenity's crew but was renting out one of the Firefly's Shuttle. Inara is a Companion, a high-society courtesan licensed under a guild. It was part of her job to be well versed in gossip to fit in with all types of high society types.

"Maybe it's another spy after the Doc and Miss crazy. The Alliance could be using that Tele-thingy to send out spies" said Jayne giving Simon a dirty look, like it was his fault.

Jayne Cobb was a rather physically imposing mercenary who is more of a practical man rather than a clever man. So had no idea what to make of this stranger.

"Yeah right I doubt the Alliance would be that desperate to resort to using this guy. Look at him; he is practical wearing a t-shirt saying "slob". Those clean Alliance guys wouldn't put up with a guy like him. Also his entrance wasn't exactly subtle, I mean even if he'd arrived down in the hold we'd have smelt. When he smells worse than Jayne when can't afford deodorant" said Wash.

Hoban "Wash" Washburne was the ships pilot and played the role of pragmatist during group discussions or arguments. He was very open to pointing out the obvious, especially to Jayne.

"Well I think we can all agree on that honey. Simon check his pockets, there might be some sort of ID on him" Zoe asked.

Zoe Washburne Alleyne was the Captain's second in command and had fought with him in the Unification War against the Alliance. She was a cold blooded killer most of the time, except around her husband Wash.

Simon searched through the unconscious man's pockets, pulling an assortment of strange objects. These included

1) A guitar Pick

2) A small spanner and screwdriver set

3) A pair of leather gloves

4) A cigarette lighter

5) A rather furry liquorice allsort

6) A picture of a rather beautiful woman (the writing on the back said her name was Kristine Kochanski)

The crew of the Serenity studied each of the objects trying to gleam of the identity of the unconscious man.

"Aww that a woman looks like his sweetheart" sighed Kaylee passing the picture to Mal.

Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye was the Serenity's mechanic, interior designer and all around bright light of the crew.

"That uniform that women's wearing isn't Alliance or anything I ever seen" commented Mal while examining the women's picture.

"He's the most important human to ever exist. Found in ignominy and eventually ascending to the rank of Alpha and Omega, losing everything in the process. Including the ones he loved" said River.

She had walked up to the unconscious man and was staring at him intently.

River Tam Simon's talented sister was more than a little weird. River was stuck in an Alliance lab where they cut into her brain. This had left her left a bit crazy and rather psychic. Enough so that she could read people's minds and personalities. The captain nodded at River not sure if she was telling the truth or being crazy.

"Is he a threat to us" asked Mal?

River smiled.

"What this chai neow. Only to our noses but that isn't what's most amazing about him. The tags on his clothes tell an interesting tale" said River.

River pulled back the neck of the unconscious man to reveal a yellow tag. Although most of the writing was fading, they could make out the words "Made on Earth".

There was a sudden deep intake of breath from beside River as the mysterious stranger gained consciousness.

"Aww Smegging hell my head feels like a fat man been tap dancing on it"

Dave Lister opened his eyes.

***Edited on the 20/12/12**


	3. Chapter 3

**Back to the Firefly 03**

**Thanks for the people who are following this story. Any constructive criticisms, commendations or just comments would be greatly appreciated. **

Chapter 03: The Laws of Causality

It took a moment for the scene in front of Lister to hit home. The shock of seeing human beings standing around him after spending five years with out seeing a another human and thinking that your the last human, would cause a ordinary man to die of shock.

But not Dave Lister who had done extraordinary things in those past four years which included playing pool with planets, being attacked by a killer kebab, defeating cybernetic war-machines and getting married to an orangutan mutated GELF.

Lister looked at the individuals in front of him in there different clothes and managed to say.

"Smeg where have I ended up now the annual meeting for the Canadian Western Society"?

"The western what now" said Jayne.

"Ok guys let's flag down a black cab and head for real street. Who are you guys" said Lister.

"We were about to ask you a similar question and your on my boat so speak your peace" said Mal letting a unspoken threat hang in the air.

Lister looked at the Captain and found the face of a hard man who was being threatened by the unknown.

"Ah brutal my names Dave, Dave Lister I had an accident with our Teleporter. Next thing I know I'm standing in your ship feeling like the only man on a lesbian cruise".

"Are you from Earth, old Earth" asked Kaylee?

She and the rest of the crew looked in wonder at Lister like he was a relic in a museum.

"What do mean old Earth? What happened to Earth? Don't tell me Aliens have taken over. Smeg I'll owe Rimmer 50 quid if they have".

"History tells us that Earth became too over crowded and drained to support life so humanity left" said Wash trying to let Lister down gentle.

Each of the Serenity's crew had reached the conclusion that Lister was from Old Earth who had messed around with some primitive teleportation technology resulting in Lister being marooned.

"What's the date"?

"23rd of June 2517" said Simon.

Lister's mind raced over this fact. According to Holly the Red Dwarf had suffered a radiation leak and left the solar in the year 2179 CE with Lister on board in stasis.

It was three million years later till Holly had de-radiated the ship and woke up Lister from Stasis. The date then had been 22nd of November 3,002,179 CE. So somehow that Smegging Teleporter had gone wrong and landed him here in this mess.

Last time this had happened Kryten had mentioned the laws of causality. One wrong move in the past could change the future for the worst. He had to be really careful what he said to these cowboys.

"Smeg last time I mess around with a Teleporter" said Lister

"So let me get this gorram right. You were on Old Earth and you messed around with some sort of Chwen Teleporter. Due to fault in this device you somehow ended up on my boat" stated Mal

Lister didn't have a better story to tell the crew without breaking the laws of causality. Even if he could Lister doubted if the crew would believe half of the weird things that have happened to him.

"You got it mate hole in one of you know what I mean" grinned Lister.

"This guy must be worth a fortune if he's from Old Earth. I vote we sell him at Persephone while were trying to pawn that Lasiter" schemed Jayne.

"That guy has a name you weasly Smeghead" said Lister angrily.

Before Jayne could put in an angry retort Mal stepped in.

"Nobody's selling anybody Jayne. Lister you can stay on my boat for tonight. We will have words on what our next move is" said Mal.

"You can join our party if you want. Well it's pretty modest, just us folks drinking and listening some music on the Cortex" offered Kaylee

It was then Lister spotted the most beautiful bit of crumpet he'd seen in over 3 million years.

"Hello did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven" said Lister.

Walking up to Inara Serra and giving her his most charming smile and a whiff of his bad breathe.

**Yes this chapter was less eventfully but I'm just setting it up for further chapters. **

**The following Chinese words were used in this chapter and the last.**

**Gorram – God damn**

**Chai Neow – Oddball or goof**

**Chwen – Dumbass**

**All these word gathered from the Firefly Lexicon at the Firefly wiki.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Back to the Firefly 04**

**Any constructive criticisms, commendations or just comments would be greatly appreciated.****Sorry for the long wait but here's the latest Chapter. Enjoy **

Chapter 04 Party time

After introducing Lister to rest of the crew Mal took him to the Dining area where what remained of the crew's party was evident. Lister stood there like a kid in a candy store. He hadn't seen a party since Red Dwarf disappeared over a year ago. The last shindig he'd been to had been Rimmer's Death day party which had been a complete and utter disaster. Rimmer had given a five hour speech which had melted Kryten's CPU and sent him and the Cat into a coma. Seeing a bottle of Alcohol on the dining table Lister's eye's lit up, he hadn't had any alcohol in over 3 months.

"Nice free booze" said Lister as he picked up the bottle and poured a colourless alcoholic liquid into a tin mug.

"Oy that my best moonshine I doubt a Sān sè Jin like you can handle such strong liquor" complained Jayne.

Lister just shrugged and consumed the clear alcoholic sprit in one gulp. Lister was an expert drinker having spent most nights on Red Dwarf drinking through the ships Larger supply. So could hardly feel the strong alcoholic content of the moonshine as it coursed through his body.

"You call this strong; this brew couldn't even get a coven of Goths drunk let alone me. Who the Sān sè Jin now" said Lister?

"Oh yeah I bet you couldn't survive one round in a drinking contest against me" said Jayne.

"Yeah" Lister retorted!

"Yeah" Jayne retorted back!

"Wow it's hard to keep up with all the intelligence conversation around here" commented Wash.

"I'll bet a week's worth of cleaning the toilet that Jayne wins" bet Kaylee.

"Who'd bet against Jayne, didn't you say Kaylee that he'd drunk four grown men under the table" said Simon?

"It was five actually" Kaylee corrected

"I'll put a month's worth of washing clothes that the newbie wins" said River to Simon's constellation.

Both Jayne and Lister sat down at opposite sides of Serenity's long oak table with a tin mug each and Jayne's nearly full bottle of moonshine, the rest of the crew crowd around of them in anticipation for the contest ahead.

Lister laid back in the seat wearing his amiable slob grin that was mischievous as the fourth wheel on a shopping trolley. While the rest of Lister's body language was leaking confidence from every orifice. This wasn't Lister's first contest, back in Liverpool he'd learned on the many pub crawls's how to hold his liquor and last the longest. Jayne was equally confidence of winning because like little Kaylee had pointed out, he had drunk four men under the table. So he was looking forward to show this gorram fool the error of his ways.

Wash acting as referee poured Moonshine into Lister's and Jayne's mugs and the contest began.

**25 rounds** **later...**

"You kn-ow what Lister, your my best friend" slurred Jayne.

Jayne went to gulp down the last of the moonshine from his cup when a blank look arrived on his face and collapsed, falling off his chair and under the table. A look of triumph appeared on Lister's face. With a ferret like smile Lister finished off the contents of his mug, turned the tin mug upside down and placing the mug on top of his head.

"Jayne's out for count, so the underdog Dave Lister wins" called Wash.

"Yeah baby, I'm a well oiled drinking machine. In your face Smeg Heads!" said Lister

He then proceeds to jump on to Serenity's large dining table and started to perform a strange rendition of the Macarena to the shock and surprise of the crew.

All except Zoe and Mal who was standing in the corridor outside the dining area having an intent discussion on what to do with the new passenger Dave Lister.

"I don't trust him, I think he is holding something back" declared Mal.

Mal was on edge about what to do with Lister. If Lister was being less than truthfully it was safer for his crew if they dump him as soon as they landed on Persephone. But if Lister was telling the truth and he was from Old Earth than dumping him on Persephone would be a death sentence. Without any records of Listers existence the Alliance would soon sniff him out and more than likely experiment on him to discover the truth. It was times like these the Shepard's advice would have come in handy. But they weren't due to pick up Shepard Book from his Abbey retreat for another two weeks.

"I agree with you sir but Lister seems to me harmless enough. Unlike other guests we're had onboard" commented Zoe.

Behind them Lister emphasised Zoe's point by evolving his Macarena into a strip tease taking off his patched leather jacket and throwing at Inara. She wrinkled her nose and arched her eyebrows at the grease and food stains that cover most of the jackets surface.

Mal stared at Lister for a moment and nodded giving ground to Zoe's statement.

"There might be something in that. But until I find out the truth I can't trust him" stated Mal.

"You haven't been able to trust anyone new ever since those incidents with Dobson and Saffron" remarked Inara.

Inara had dropped Lister's jacket and decided that this party was a bit below her so joined Mal and Zoe in there discussion in the corridor.

"So what do you think of Lister. It looks like he thinks the worlds of you" Mal smirked.

Mal too had feelings for Inara (but kept them more secret than Lister) but wasn't worried about Lister's attraction to Inara. After tonight performance I doubt Inara would look at Lister twice.

"Yes I noticed, Lister's made his intentions quite clear. He's crude, abhorrent and absolutely disgusting, but I think he has a good heart and he's hiding something" reported Inara.

Due to Inara's companion training she could read people words and body language with a great deal of accuracy. So Mal and Zoe both took Inara conclusions very seriously.

"Do you think you could use your companion charms to get Lister to speak more freely" asked Mal?

Inara rolled her eyes at Mal's innuendo but she recognised Mal's point that of all the crew she was the one most likely to get the truth from Lister.

"Alright I'll give it a try but I can't make any promises. I think Lister is disguising his true intelligence" commented Inara.

"Well it must be a very good disguise" said Zoe staring at Lister who had current stripped down to food stained long johns to the astonishment of the rest of the crew.

"You better wait til tomorrow it doesn't look like Lister's in the mood to take questions tonight" said Mal.

Inara wrinkled her nose in disgust and for once full heartily agreed with Captain Malcolm Reynolds.

The next day Inara went looking for Lister in the wreckage of Serenity's Dining room. The party had ended when Lister had toppled off the Dining room table and knocked himself out when trying to teach Kaylee the Old Earth concept of skateboarding. Inara had found Lister lying on the other side of the upturned oak table still in his long johns and a metal bucket on his head. Inara gentle tapped Lister's side with her foot and was rewarded with a large groan. After finishing a round of groaning Lister rose to his feet, removing the bucket from his head and studying it.

"I'm on a Firefly Class ship in the middle of deep space, can somebody explain to me where the Smeg I got this milk pale" asked Lister mostly to himself?

"Dave I was wondering if you wanted some of my hangover solution for your head" asked Inara?

"Yeah sure I really use that about now. My head feels like a drum set that's been used in a Rolling Stone's concert" said Lister.

"It's in my shuttle, I'll wait outside til your properly dressed before I escort you over" said Inara

With that Inara walked out into the corridor her backed turned to him. Lister looked down in surprise to find himself in his food stained long johns. What a night thought Lister as went around the dining room procuring items of clothing he'd discarded last night.

**Chinese Translations for this chapter are:**

**Sān sè Jin: Pansy**

**Gorram: Hell**

**Next time of Back to the Firefly is Chapter 05 Memories are made of Smeg**


	5. Chapter 5

**Back to the Firefly 05**

**Sorry I made you wait for the main plot, it's about to kick in enjoy.**

Chapter 05 Memories are Made of Smeg

"Ahhh that hits the spot" Lister said as he sighed in satisfaction.

He put a small decorated Asian tea cup down onto a small coffee table next the steaming kettle and laid back into the comfy red sofa next to Inara.

"Nice digs, although there's a little too much velvet for my liking" commented Lister.

"Thank you, I can see my herbal tea has made a difference" said Inara

"Yeah it's a pretty nice brew, all I need now is a triple fried egg, chilli, chutney sandwich and I'd be in heaven" Lister replied.

The thought of Lister's sandwich made Inara sick but she managed to hide it under a veil of calm. It was then Inara made her move to get Lister to talk. Inara picked up a turned over photograph from the coffee table and showed it to Lister.

It was Lister's picture of Kristine Kochanski.

Inara knew it would throw Lister off his guard because it was the only personal thing in Lister's possession and the most prized.

"I belief this photo is yours. You misplaced it during your performance last night" said Inara handing the photo to Lister.

Lister face went from his mischievous grin disappeared from his face faster than a miner's first pint of the day. A single tear crawled down Lister's face and onto the photo as he gripped in his shaking left hand. A look of surprised almost crossed Inara's face but her companions training kicked in keeping her face calm and compassionate. Dave Lister had been deeply in love with this woman who he had lost.

Lister didn't usual show this part of himself to people, mainly because Rimmer would have never let him hear the end of it. But Inara made him feel so safe, enough to make him spill out his heart out to her.

"Sorry I haven't seen her face for awhile" sniffed Lister.

"You loved her" stated Inara.

"Yeah we dated for two weeks til she dumped me for a Chief named Tim. Two of the best weeks of my life spent with her. There she died in a accident that wiped out the rest of the crew"

"What crew" asked Inara?

"I was Third Technician on a JMC mining ship called the Red Dwarf. I was in Stasis (a type of deep sleep unit) when a radiation leak that wiped out all the crew. I was the only survivor" explained Lister.

Seeing the pain written across Lister's face Inara's heart soften for the disgusting slob. He had been silently suffering from survivors guilt for a long time.

"Ō, wǒ de shàngdì, Dave I'm so sorry"

Inara hugged Lister and behind her back his great ferrety grin emerged, back with a vengeance, He always knew how to get into a lady's good books. Lister and Inara parted from there embrace and Inara scooted to the edge of her couch, mainly because to get Lister's aroma of heavily spiced foods and motor oil out of her nose.

"So how long have you been a prostitute" asked Lister?

Inara flinched in shock and surprise which split through her companion training.

Lister wasn't as dumb as Rimmer made him out to be, just unsure of his intelligence not to mention dead lazy. Lister was in a bad habit of asking Kryten for answers he already knew. So Lister found it easy to work out that this room was a bit too lavish for a ship like this and Inara herself was dressed in a more expensive outfit than the rest of the crew. It suggested that Inara had a profession outside the rest of the crews and judging by the bed it had something to do with sex.

"I'm not a prostitute, I'm a Companion" stated Inara imperiously.

"Really what's the difference" asked Lister?

XXXX

Lister kicked out of Inara's shuttle faster than a rabbit with a jetpack. Way a go Casanova you really know how to show a girl a good time thought Lister as he walked down the metal gantry towards the dining area. Lister realised he was really out of practice when it came to women; try three million years out of practice.

Halfway across the gantry a young girl the one they called River appeared out of nowhere in front of Lister causing him to jump a metre in the air.

"Smegging Hell! You shouldn't scare a guy one Curry short of a heart attack" said Lister!

River face remained calm, the very picture of solace and solitude.

"You miss them don't you" stated River.

"Miss who" asked Lister?

"Your friends the Cat, Kryten and even the Smeg Head" River told Lister.

"I suppose so; this has been the longest time I've been away from them. I'm not worried they will turn up sooner or later, they always do or I hope so. I get the feeling that your Captain doesn't like me very much. More likely to chuck me out of an airlock than help me" said a very puzzled Lister.

How did she know about his mates when he hadn't even mentioned their names since he'd been on board of Serenity?

"So it's just you all alone in this universe" River stated.

"I suppose so" said a very lonely Lister.

Something changed in River, her eyes turned a shade of blood and blue electricity engulfed her mouth.

"Then you shall not escape a second time, you shall not escape the Inquisition" screamed River Tamm!  
Lister stared in surprise; River's voice had change from her usual light tone to a dark scary enough to wet your pants voice. It reminded him of an old enemy, the Inquisitor and Lister gave a slight shiver of fear.

**Chinese Translation **

**Ō, wǒ de shàngdì****: Oh my God**


End file.
